Dealing with Grief
Grief is one of the most miraculous things to me, especially grief around death. There is so much sadness and love that is happening at the same time that it makes me dizzy. Overwhelming sadness from the loss, joy from remembering all the good times spent together, and the love that was formed from that bond. I also now understand Inside Out on a whole new level. I have never felt in real time that every happy memory starts to get sadness on it. Most of them are tie-dyed yellow and blue now. I have lost people before, lost pets before; death is anything but new to me. However, this grief is a new brand of beast I hadn't expected.
The only thing that seems to help consistently is just being. Being in the silence so that the thoughts can come and go with the emotions in their own time. Being in nature so that I can feel the energy around me and find the glimmers of Murphy here and there. Being with people who love me and cherish me for who I am to them, not what I do for them. Being in my energy to help me feel out the loss that feels like a phantom limb, I'm learning to walk without. As much as I would like to control and try to find the purpose in this loss, sometimes life goes this way, and we have to learn that being in this new energy is tough, but eventually it will all be okay.